Most mornings, I wake up in a cold sweat clutching my 25 pound pit bull/chihuahua mix wondering what the fuck just happened. I have some pretty wild dreams and just thought maybe if I share them with the world, someone will relate to my madness or, better yet, be able to decipher my cryptic, fantastical delusions.

I pull these dreams straight from my mind moments after I pull myself out of bed. Nothing is edited, hence the hectic, choppy, stream-of-consciousness style of writing. This is my raw imagination; some of it is comical, some disturbing, and some is utterly whack-o.