Written some years ago:
Everyone has their “shit.” There is no way to fully understand another person’s shit because YOU ARE NOT THEM. And no one can fully understand your shit because they do not share your brain.
I made the mistake, many times throughout my life, of judging other peoples’ shit and comparing their problems to my own. I would constantly listen to a friend or a peer and mentally roll my eyes and say sure, but you don’t have a heroine addicted, piece-of-shit sister? Or, you don’t have a father that gave up on your family. Or even, you’ve never been sexually assaulted. I would mentally one-up these peoples’ hardships with my own self-pity party to make myself feel better.
Instead, I should have inhaled, exhaled my own shit, and listened. Listened to their problems and accepted their own struggles because everyone struggles differently.
It took years to realize that my friends had a lot of shit going on in their lives just like me. What I didn’t recognize was that my friends are very good at suppressing their problems; shoving it so deep down and ignoring it they almost forget about it; just like me. Until one day (and I believe this happens in everyone’s life), that shit somehow surfaces, no, explodes from your soul and demands to be heard.
When three of my best friends confided in me, some of the most disturbing news I have ever heard, on the same day I finally had to take a step back and say “shit.” Everyone has it, some people are just more vocal about their shit than others.
Regardless of what your friends are saying or not saying, the next time someone tells you they’re mad that their haircut doesn’t look as good as they wanted or your friend bitches at you for no reason, don’t roll your eyes and don’t get mad. Simply breath. See the situation from their perspective and think about how lucky you are that they are even talking to you.