Last night in my dream I had a threesome with Jamie Lee Curtis and her hot husband who reminded me of Dennis Quaid. We went skinny-dipping in my pool and then hooked up in my bed and then Jamie Lee Curtis bought me laundry detergent and washed my sheets for me.

Then everything switched and I was in a movie. I was in the backseat of a car driving through this winding road with the window rolled down; my head laying on the window. I couldn’t see who was driving but we suddenly parked at this house and a golden retriever got out of the driver’s seat. The golden retriever was driving the car the whole time. We went into the garage and met the police chief (and golden’s dad) and he gave us a new assignment to go track down these hooligans. We got back in the car and shit got weird…

We ended up at this bowling alley or gymnasium or something and I was a part of the police force now and we were trying to win a basketball game or bowling game against a team of scrawny boys, they we’re all immature jerks. At some point we all got wet because my clothes were soaked. We somehow jumped from the bowling alley/gymnasium to a football field, all dripping wet, so we all had to go change.

All I had was this bowling bag with a bike helmet and like four pairs of shoes including two sandals, my Frye fringe boots and a button down shirt. I put on these really uncomfortable slides and went running down the hallway of the now (high school?) idk where, but one of the teen boys grabbed me and we went running to the main room where the party was (I don’t know how dream timelines work but all of this happened seamlessly) with a DJ and the golden retriever and police chief.

Skip back to the threesome and my parents came over to my apartment. My mom was trying to do my laundry while my dad was asking questions about what happened the night before. They found my diary which indicated my hook up, but instead of being angry they were only curious and wanted to know more? and then, before everything went black, I found Jamie Lee Curtis’ thong hanging on my towel rack in my bathroom…

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