Last night I had a dream that I was at this guy’s lake house with his ENTIRE extended family of about 50 people. We all went out on the boat and they were judging me because I was in a very scandalous bikini and I was acting a fool the whole time. At one point (we’ll call him David) David disappeared and I was on top of the boat in a thong bikini passed out for everyone to see but the boat was going about 100 mph and I was very close to falling off. When the boat stopped and we all got back to the dock, everyone was furious with me and I asked where David went. They told me he was pissed at me because of something I did and that’s why everyone else was angry at me too.

We got off the boat and started walking back to the house and I ran into my ex boyfriend the football player. (I do not have an ex boyfriend football player) So to get back to the house you had to climb this GIANT hill, there was no other way up. We FINALLY made it up to the house and that’s when David’s mom started bitching me out accusing me of getting her son to do speed (which I did not) I insisted that I have never done speed and did not make David do it.

I went to David’s room to ask him what was going on and he wanted nothing to do with me. He called me a coke addicted whore and told me to leave. I was devastated because I didn’t know what I did wrong.

Then I realized I must have blacked out and that’s why I was acting a fool and somewhere in the process I lost an entire day. I had no memory of my actions and I told everyone I had a drinking problem and that I was “working on it” I apologized to David and his mom helped me come up with what to say to him. So, in David’s bedroom, with his entire extended family, I apologized and he forgave me. David’s room was full of games, a ping pong table, action figures, xbox, bean bags, and a bed for his dog Sunny. It was wild.

After we made up, David’s family left his room and I proceeded to try and seduce him. Which worked; and we made up again.

Then it was time for dinner and I was famished. but also still in lingerie from seducing David but no one seemed to care this time. Now everyone liked me. We were waiting for our feast of fried chicken, gravy, potatoes, and other goodies, when we got too hungry and decided to go around the house to see what everyone else was cooking. In one room they were making arepas, in one room they were making these deciduous creed with whipped cream that David and I ended up shoving in each other’s faces and running around the house with whipped cream and sugar all over our faces but finally made it to the feast and sat down with everyone. At the end, his family told me how happy they were that I apologized and how much they liked me

But I still work up in a cold sweat and a deep panic. Thankfully I had Puffin (my pooch) to calm me down.

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