Last night I was back at Myers Park, my high school, and it was the first day of senior year. I was late to school and also didn’t have my syllabus so I had no idea what classes I was in. I walked into a random classroom when I arrived at school and saw Ben Little (my old neighbor who I went to high school with and who is also about a foot shorter than I am). Ben and I decided to start dating. Right then and there. Which didn’t make any sense but okay. The classroom was a weird boutique/classroom and there were all these glass cases with jewelry in them lining the walls of the classroom. Ben then wrote me a check for $5700 and said to treat myself.

I then proceeded to walk around the classroom (while everyone else was learning…) and picked out the nicest jewelry in all of the cases. This included a GIANT pearl… it wasn’t attached to anything it was just a giant beautiful pearl. I kept dropping the pearl and it kept rolling around the classroom and I had to crawl under desks and between people’s legs to grab it. When I went to sit down next to Ben, all of my belongings, including the jewelry I picked out, was all over the place on multiple desks.

The strangest part of this interaction was the fact that I could barely walk. (many times in my dreams when I am trying to run, it’s like my feet are stuck in molasses, and I can barely move forward. But this time, all I was trying to do was walk and I could barely move). The bell rang and class was dismissed but all of my belongings were scattered about and I could not get out fast enough (because my legs wouldn’t move). So Ben left and said he would take care of paying for everything and told me that I needed to go get my syllabus.

So, I headed to the front office, very slowly, and finally made it and Reese Witherspoon was sitting behind the front desk handing out welcome packets. I told her my name and we proceeded to chat about current event and what not when I saw my best friend, Sally, walk in. I yelled her name probably 10 times before she finally heard me and can into the office. Then my friend Claire entered and we were all trying to go smoke our Juuls. So, while we waited for our syllabus, we went to the bathroom down the hall to smoke. However, I still couldn’t really walk and at this point, I didn’t have shoes on. All I wanted to do was smoke my juul, but I was moving so slow that everyone skipped me in line and I couldn’t get to a bathroom stall!

I still don’t know if I ever made it to the bathroom or not. But I did walk away with a giant pearl.

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