I was at a party and everyone had dreads except for me. I decided to get high with my friends (because why not?). Then, one of my friends, Claire, told me to go do this spooky, haunted house type deal that was taking place underneath the house we were in. I went in the elevator down to the basement and immediately regretted it. I was too scared. There were weird noises, and I could hear something moving down the hall toward me. So, I ran back in the elevator and hit the up button before the monster heading down the hall had a chance to get me. As the elevator closed, I got a glimpse of the beast- it was like a giant sewer rat; large with long arms and incredibly long pointed fingers.

During the party someone else told me that you have to stick it out during the first part of the spooky haunted house to reach the end, which was an underwater experience of pure euphoria. I never made it to the end because someone else beat the game before me (yes, it turned into a game…).

Everyone from the party moved into a different room to watch the winners compete for the grand prize- $20,000? (I’ve been watching too much Family Feud). My ex-boyfriend, Carson, was one of the winners and it was his turn to compete in the skee-ball like competition but he was too fucked up. He couldn’t even get the ball near the target before passing out. An ambulance came to carry him away and put him on a stretcher but the blanket that was placed atop of him fell off and revealed his stub… he didn’t have any legs or a dick (what does this mean???) Then my friend, Hallie, informed me that he lost his leg in a car crash and he should really think about getting a new leg…

Then my dream got a little sexual, as they sometimes tend to do, and focused on the party and drugs and trying to find someone to fuck before I finally woke up in a cold sweat wondering what the fuck?

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